Real growth and healing isn’t about finding what doesn’t exist; growth and healing is actually about expanding what already does exist within and around you.

If you wait to be perfect, you’ll wait forever.
No one is perfect.
And that’s what makes us beautiful.

The Sufi poet, Rumi, wrote “the wound is the place where the light enters you.” Yet it’s through these wounds, these cracks, that your light escapes into the world and helps others heal.

Living “perfect” lives in “perfect” ways is not realistic or achievable.
The best version of the world starts with the best version of you. Therefore, showing up for yourself first is a powerful intention.

For many people, feeling worthy means you always have to be the best, to feel loved and admired by everyone. And many of us are so afraid to take ownership of our God-given free will, because we’re terrified of making the wrong choices; so instead, we make none, unwittingly subjecting ourselves to the consequences of decision-by-indecision.

Either way, the need for approval doesn’t only kill a person’s freedom, it also stunts their growth! It can turn you into your own worst enemy and set your default mode to one where you are always treating yourself terribly. And that serves no one.

The good news: The sum total of everything you are made of — the good, the bad, and the ugly — is a good enough place for you to start getting better and being better. Like a pendulum that always seems to find its resting place, the fundamental building blocks that make up who and what you are have always been a good enough place to return to.

You are already good enough, and you already have what you need to create a fulfilling life. Creating a fulfilling life begins with the realization that only you have the agency to do so.

What you experience in life can be very real without being something that defines you. Statements like “I shouldn’t feel angry” or “I don’t want to feel hurt” only add attachment to your emotional experiences, making yourself feel bad or wrong for, well, being human. Humans feel.

It’s what we do with these feelings that either disempower or empower us.

It’s critical that we define what self-care is, what it isn’t, why we need it and how a self-care plan can help us on the path to “better.”

Self-care means that we commit to taking an active role in safeguarding our mental and physical wellness, proactively and especially in times of duress.

Most of us know that self-care is good for us — it increases our emotional and physical stamina, it improves our self-esteem and builds resilience. It even goes further, ensuring that we can remain compassionate, impassioned and engaged.

Maintaining self-care means being in balance, so you can engage in the important work you do without sacrificing other aspects of your life.

Self-care means putting yourself first, and you’ve likely been conditioned to believe that’s wrong. Or rude. But self-care isn’t selfish — and selfishness isn’t a bad thing, when it allows you to maintain a positive attitude in spite of your own challenges and the larger injustices that exist in the world.

Most people need to be part of a community for life’s necessities, but most people want to be part of a community because there is something indescribably lovely about belonging to a group that shares something real and substantial. It not only makes individuals feel less lonely and more secure, it can potentially help them move from survival mode to a thriving mode.

So even though it’s easy for us to feel isolated in this increasingly technology-based world, the village philosophy of our ancestors still rings true.

There is an undeniable and intricate connection between our inner work and the outer world. It bears repeating: If we do not show up for ourselves first, we cannot truly show up for others.

Showing up for ourselves can be seen in the small ways we honor our word, like arriving places on time or not hitting the snooze button and waking up when we said we would. It means standing up for ourselves with the sole purpose of being understood, not validated.

Acting with integrity, keeping your word and being clear on our values and intentions, are all small ways to show up for ourselves that have big returns because they will help us remain in balance regardless of what may be happening around us.

There is an undeniable and intricate connection between our inner work and the outer world. It bears repeating: If we do not show up for ourselves first, we cannot truly show up for others. 

Showing up for ourselves can be seen in the small ways we honor our word, like arriving places on time or not hitting the snooze button and waking up when we said we would. It means standing up for ourselves with the sole purpose of being understood, not validated. 

Acting with integrity, keeping your word and being clear on our values and intentions, are all small ways to show up for ourselves that have big returns because they will help us remain in balance regardless of what may be happening around us. 

Just the concept of influence can conjure images of manipulation and immorality, but today let’s look at it differently.

Influence is neither good nor bad. It is simply a neutral force that can be used in pursuit of either. And when we exercise influence over others, it can bring about their consent, whether consciously or not.

Author Robert Cialdini wrote about what he called the “unity” principle, wherein he explained that the more we perceive people to be part of “us” — meaning, in the same group, community, or category of people — the more likely we’ll let ourselves be influenced by them.

Simply put, the unity principle boils down to the third principle in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, which is the need for humans to belong.

When your local community of care structures are in place, and the circles of influence expand outward through the community, and then overlap with circles generating outward from other communities of care, then you’re creating a true mutual aid network that permeates every level of the community.

What is a mutual aid network? In its most basic terms, mutual aid refers to the building of cooperative structures that reduce or eliminate the need for reliance on the government, charities, and philanthropists to address the needs of a community.

We live in a society that is riddled with complex, top-down approaches to infrastructure, and circular solutions that are inefficient and incredibly wasteful. Mutual aid creates flows in every direction, not just from the top down. It functions in horizontal networks of solidarity.

Said another way: Mutual aid enables and empowers you to put your passions into action, to proactively effect needed change with the help of a community network.

Many of us complain that we never have enough time or money; we take on too many commitments and obligations; we live a cluttered life, in a cluttered house with a cluttered calendar.

But when you learn to shed the extra "stuff,” you immediately enhance the quality of your life. Simplifying your life gives you back the space to live your life, and, from that space, you can give the excess to others—thereby balancing the scales and making the world more equitable.

Imagine the power of a self-care movement that moves like a wave of kindness, healing your body and mind, connecting communities, sustaining your energy and momentum, and helping everyone live healthier, happier, and more balanced lives.

It starts with you.

The inner work is a prerequisite for creating the world you want to be in. Living a life centered around an intention means that you are always acting in alignment with your true self and your true purpose.

It means you are courageous enough to dismantle internal belief systems that prevent you from showing up for yourself and others. It means that in any given moment, no matter who’s path you cross, you act from love.