Commusings: Chilla Gorilla and Lanky Lemur Journey to the Heart by Kimberly Snyder

Dear Commune Community,

Recently, my daughter Phoebe gave me the greatest compliment of my life.

When Phoebe was little, the family would drive at night from New York to Connecticut. This was a strategic decision to avoid traffic. However, once we passed New Haven, there were no more streetlamps illuminating the road.

Phoebe would sit in the middle back seat, snuggled between her sisters. This position gave her a direct view out the windshield and into the obsidian blackness. As the minutes passed, she would watch winged insects springing from the darkness and smattering the front window.

She told me, “I would stare out the windshield and the world looked so very scary. But then I looked at you behind the steering wheel and I also felt safe. Never once did I feel unsafe.”

As parents, we often want our influence on our children to be direct and explicit. We want to dole out advice and guidance. But, as Phoebe reminded me, the most precious gift we can give our children – or anyone really – is safety.

It is from a place of safety and security that one’s aperture for life opens wide. It allows for creativity and expansive thinking. It plants the seeds of compassion. And it creates the opportunity for coherence and attunement – what the psychologists call ventral vagal activation.

I am thrilled to feature my friend, Kimberly Snyder, who shares an excerpt from her new children’s book, Chilla Gorilla and Lanky Lemur Journey to the Heart. Kim and her husband Jon are leveraging the lessons of their lives to raise two wonderful lanky lemurs.

Here at jeffk@onecommune and waxing and waning on IG @jeffkrasno.

In love, include me,
Jeff

P.S. Join Schuyler and me in 4-dimensional space-time at one of our upcoming retreats at Commune Topanga! There are just a few spaces left for the May 31-June 2 event.

• • •

Chilla Gorilla and Lanky Lemur Journey to the Heart
By Kimberly Snyder

Pre-Order Available Now | Available May 28

When I was a child, I didn't understand or have any clue as to how to handle the overwhelming feelings coursing through me—feelings I now recognize as intense emotions. My well-meaning parents were also unaware, leaving them completely unequipped to guide me in managing these feelings.

As children, we notice tangible attributes like cool sneakers, trendy hairstyles, or who has the most awesome Pokemon cards (in my kids’ generation at least), yet we're oblivious to inner emotional well-being. We see peers with outbursts or disrespectful behavior and hastily label them as “bad” or naughty. I didn’t know it back then, but those calm and seemingly content kids had something I lacked: a connection to their emotions and the tools to handle them.

Growing up, I was the quintessential “good” girl—top of my class, high school president, hardcore overachiever. Yet beneath the carefully crafted façade of perfection, I battled debilitating anxiety, insomnia, and ultimately, eating disorders. My inability to process my emotions and life’s challenges led me to develop bulimia as a way to cope. I simply couldn’t “digest” life.

As an adult, I’ve come to appreciate my journey, recognizing that each experience was an integral part of self-discovery and cultivating compassion.

Now a mother of two boys, aged 8 and nearly 4, I am acutely aware of the disconnection many children experience today, exacerbated by rampant technology and social media exposure. This prompted me to write a children's book, blending fun stories with deep messages about emotional connection.

Chilla Gorilla and Lanky Lemur Journey to the Heart tells the story of two friends – the huge gorilla inspired by my husband Jon and the adorable, super energetic lemur inspired by our older son Emerson – and their adventures in a jungle. Yet, it is really about equipping children (and their parents) with effective tools to foster self-connection, inspired by the heart's intelligence and its ability to guide our emotions and perceptions.

Spiritual traditions from around the world and ancient cultures converge in the heart and have always taught us that the heart is the center of our being, a gateway where our humanness and Spirit merge. The heart connects us to the kindness and wholeness of who we really are and guides us back to emotional calm.

My research has delved into the remarkable intelligence of the heart, which contains over 40,000 neurons and essentially functions as a second brain. This fascinating topic is the focus of my upcoming adult book — The Hidden Power of the Five Hearts. Through heart coherence, or the communication between the heart and brain, we can harness this intelligence.

Scientific studies confirm that simple mindfulness tools can enhance heart coherence, which in turn alters our perceptions, creates calmness, and boosts our health. Research published in the American Journal of Cardiology, among other sources, demonstrates that simply focusing awareness on the heart enhances its communication with the brain, balances the nervous system, improves cardiovascular efficiency, and stabilizes emotions and mental states.¹

We have the opportunity to give our children gifts that go beyond material comforts, offering them a deeper sense of security and peace from within their own hearts. While I didn’t have these growing up, I have experienced such a profound impact on my family’s life since introducing these heart-based tools. It is never too late to reconnect back to your own heart or to give these gifts to a child of any age.

As we embrace and spread these heart-based practices, we are not only helping individual children but also transforming society, one heart at a time. The world needs the heart right now.

To that end, here’s an excerpt from the book, with some resources at the end.

Kimberly Snyder is the New York Times bestselling author of Chilla Gorilla and Lanky Lemur Journey to the Heart, a holistic wellness expert, and founder of Solluna.

1. References: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/7484873 & https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9737031