Commusings: City of Angels

Dear Commune Community,

I spent most of Wednesday preparing for the worst. Spurred by unfathomable 100 m.p.h. winds, the Palisades Fire spread like smallpox through the desiccated chaparral of the Santa Monica mountains and toward Commune Topanga. 

This was not my first flirtation with fate, but it felt more definitive. I groped through the fog for equipoise. 

My Buddhist study has taught me never to assign advantage or disadvantage to any situation. It constantly reminds me that all phenomena are impermanent. Hence, clinging to any thing or condition is futile and inevitably results in suffering.

Of course, these are the moments where the spiritual rubber meets the hard, unforgiving asphalt of reality.

How does one remain sanguine in the face of such horror? How do we not ache for all of the schools, art projects, backyard gardens, and animals — all returned to ash. The hours sunken, the dreams deferred, the visions cataracted. Some of my closest friends have lost their homes, their photo books and teenage journals.

I’m a canyon rat. The caustic elixir of fire and wind is no stranger. But residential neighborhoods and retail strips reduced to dust? This is different. 

Four years ago, COVID pilfered Wanderlust Hollywood from me. The loss took its toll. It was hard but, slowly, I exhaled. After a long hold, I had to let it go.

My breath came back to me in the form of Commune Topanga, our 10-acre wellness laboratory.

My stomach knotted and churned across the day, but not for the property itself, not for fear of losing the A-frame cabins, or the yoga shala, or the cold plunges. Certainly not for the fickle septic. 

No, I was pre-mourning the loss of communal place. It is on this sacred land that I have cultivated the deepest relationships of my life. In that sauna, around those communal tables and meandering the trails of the backbone, I have held people tight, mixed my tears with theirs, and made music out of laughter.

Time after time, I’ve seen one person’s strength become another’s, one person’s joy become another’s, one person’s suffering becoming another’s. I’ve witnessed two people merge into one.

It is in these places where deep connection is possible that we heal – that we inch towards wholeness.

It is this potential loss that renders the pain so unshakeable. Yet, at the same moment, it viscerally reminds us of what makes life worthwhile.

But, now, as Wednesday dusked, my phone blared, “Evacuate.” 

Yet another fire, The Sunset Fire, had erupted a mere two miles from our house in Laurel Canyon. I piled the kids in the car and jammed a collection of essentials into a backpack – passports, computer chargers, toothbrushes and, why not, a bag of walnuts. 

We crawled down the hill into Studio City and found a floor upon which to crash. I stared up into the HVAC, not knowing when I might return home, and asked myself, “Who am I without all the stuff?” Really, though, what is it like to be you with nothing but a backpack?

It is at this moment that a sensation welled up from under the crust of consciousness – a warm feeling of profound gratitude.

Over the past two days, I have witnessed unrivaled acts of heroism. Front liners barreling into walls of flames. Pilots flying copters and fixed-wing aircraft dropping retardant amid 75 m.p.h. gusts. Ordinary citizens filling garbage cans with water to douse the flames engulfing a neighbor’s home. 

Generosity is pouring forth. People offering up their homes and condolences.

At this moment, Commune Topanga still stands for one reason only: the seraphim willing to put themselves in harm’s way.

This moment is redolent of the period after 9-11. In the alpenglow of that tragedy, people rallied around a collective grief. I remember that time. I didn’t pay for a beer for months. Strangers hugged on subway platforms. That disaster 24 years ago inspired Schuyler to open Kula Yoga Project at Ground Zero. Shared loss elicited our better angels.

And, here once again, a pain we cannot forget spills upon our hearts. Amidst the smoke and horror, we are reminded that we are a City of Angels.

In love, include me,
Jeff

P.S. Community support and friendship are more important now than ever. If you have been impacted by the fires in Los Angeles and would like to attend LUMINESCENCE on February 1, Commune is offering a limited number of tickets for free. Simply email me at [email protected] to request up to two complimentary tickets to the event.

P.P.S I will continue to provide updates on Commune Topanga on my IG @jeffkrasno. And, for now, all our Spring and Summer retreats are still on the schedule.