Welcome to Starting Fresh with Daniel Maté and Gabor Maté! Today you’ll meet your teachers and get a glimpse into the dynamics of modern parent-child relationships. Daniel and Gabor also share their relationship dynamics and how they have overcome (and still are working on) their challenges together.

Why can parent-child relationships feel so hard? You’re not alone — this dynamic has been contemplated for hundreds (if not thousands) of years. In this session, you’ll start to reflect on the shared human experience of dealing with the generation that comes before – and after – us. You’ll start to acknowledge the pain and grief that is inevitable in these dynamics and identify why you’re taking this workshop.

Plus: Learn a profound listening practice that in itself has the power to alter all of your relationships.

You’ll find power in any relationship when you reach a place of choice. By understanding the dynamics, patterns, and social structures that trap you, you can start to separate yourself from them and move into a place of consciousness. This grants you the chance to write a new story.

Included in this session are descriptions of the primary parent “prototypes”: The Victim Parent, The Child Parent, The Guilty Parent, The Worried Parent,  and The Rejecting / Disapproving Parent.

It takes two people to create a pattern, but only one to break it.

In this session, Gabor and Daniel reveal the other half of the equation: the adult child prototypes. You’ll understand how the parent prototypes and adult child prototypes interact with one another to keep unwanted patterns alive. You’ll also see how you can choose a different path forward — one that empowers you to relate and connect in ways not constrained by past dynamics.

Whether you realize it or not, you have a constrained view of the other person. You don’t actually see them as they are; you see who your view says they are. By identifying your working theory about the other person – while also becoming aware of your automatic way of dealing with the version of them you’re seeing – you start to discover new possibilities for the relationship.

In this lesson, you’ll learn what happens when a need for attachment is in conflict with the need for authenticity. You’ll reflect on where you have difficulty being authentic in this relationship, and you’ll get in contact with the parts of yourself you hide or do not feel free to express in order to keep the peace or maintain the connection in this relationship.

A fresh start doesn’t mean a happy ending. Part of the journey of navigating and healing the parent / adult child relationship is a willingness to never arrive somewhere or be finished with the work. It’s a process.

In these powerful sessions, Daniel and Gabor show us in real time what it looks like to be triggered, move through conflict, and be comfortable in the unknown while continuously choosing the relationship — with all its imperfections and human fallibility.

Our intention for a relationship can often feel clear, but who we’re being is a confession of something else. That’s because relationships with parents and children can feel so dramatic, hurtful, and confusing. When we’re stuck in past patterns, we often unconsciously live out a script, playing characters who have no idea they are like puppets or actors in a drama.

Underneath each of the parent and adult child prototypes is a genuine human quality that's been taken over by a survival mechanism. Learn how to connect with the authentic version of the prototype in yourself and in the other person. This can help you lighten up and make more conscious choices in the relationship. 

On this final day of the workshop, it’s time to think about what a new beginning might look like for you and your relationship. Take a moment to appreciate your commitment to healing, as this is a lifelong journey of identifying your working theories and noticing when you are acting from your prototypes or drama rather than your created intentions.