Do you know there are four people in every relationship?
Who you are
Who they are
Who you think they are
Who they think you are.
Whether you realize it or not, you have a “working theory” about the other person — and it’s controlling your relationship.
Your working theory prevents you from seeing the other person as they really are. Instead, you can only see who your view says they are.
What you already believe about your parent or adult child shapes your expectations and how you prepare for them to show up. Then you act in a way that leads them to confirm your beliefs.
In this free excerpt from Dr. Gabor and Daniel Maté’s new online workshop, Starting Fresh, you will finally begin to uproot your working theories. The clarity and freedom you’ll gain from this discovery can break down barriers and open up a world of new possibilities for your relationship.
Meet Your Teachers
After navigating the pitfalls and possibilities of their own father-son relationship for decades, Dr. Gabor Maté and Daniel Maté created this workshop in 2016, and have since delivered it in person to over a thousand people across Canada and the U.S. They had noticed that for all the focus in the healing world on the impacts of parenting on how children develop, almost no one was asking how we should approach this core relationship once both members are grownups.
Starting Fresh offers a framework for parents and adult children to transform stuck dynamics through a combination of perceptual tools, self-reflection, and fiercely compassionate coaching.
Dr. Gabor Maté
Gabor Maté is a retired physician who, after 20 years of family practice and palliative care experience, worked for over a decade in Vancouver’s Downtown East Side with patients challenged by drug addiction and mental illness.
The bestselling author of five books published in nearly 40 languages, including the award-winning In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts: Close Encounters With Addiction, Gabor is an internationally renowned speaker highly sought after for his expertise on addiction, trauma, childhood development, and the relationship of stress and illness. For his ground-breaking medical work and writing he has been awarded the Order of Canada, his country’s highest civilian distinction, and the Civic Merit Award from his hometown, Vancouver. His most recent book, The Myth of Normal: Trauma, Illness and Healing in a Toxic Culture is a New York Times and international bestseller.
“Once we’ve adopted a survival mechanism, it's not easy to get rid of. It becomes a habit. Not being ourselves. Not being authentic becomes a habit.”
Daniel Maté
Daniel Maté is a multi-award-winning composer, lyricist, and playwright for musical theatre based in Brooklyn, New York. His musicals include The Longing and the Short of It, the Kafka-inspired The Trouble With Doug, and a forthcoming adaptation of Russell Banks’s novel The Sweet Hereafter. He graduated from NYU’s Tisch School of the Arts with an M.F.A. in Musical Theatre Writing and holds a B.A. in Psychology and Philosophy from McGill.
Outside of music and theatre, Daniel co-authored the New York Times bestselling The Myth of Normal with his father. The two Matés are now working on a new book, Hello Again: A Fresh Start for Parents and Their Adult Children, based on their popular workshop of the same name. He also runs the world’s only “mental chiropractic” service, Take A Walk With Daniel.
“There’s power in admitting we don't know each other the way we long to know each other, we don't understand each other the way we'd like to understand each other. There’s freedom in acknowledging the heartbreak of that.”
This Free Workship is Presented by Commune
At Commune we create video courses with world-renowned teachers in personal development, yoga, meditation, integrative medicine, nutrition, social impact, and living a purpose-filled life. Our courses are designed to educate and empower you to create positive, lasting change in your life and community.
